Toenail Torture

You find out you're pregnant.  You envision a rolly polly little chunk of cuteness.  Your mind wanders further and pictures a toddler clumsily running down the hall with squeals of delight.  Oh sure, there will be diapers to change.  A runny nose from time to time.  But mostly, you picture adorableness, chubby cheeks, tiny hands and feet....BUT WAIT.  No one bothered to tell you that those adorable little hands and feet have fingernails and toenails!!  It gets worse.  These talons of torture must be CUT by YOU, and it must be done OFTEN!!!!

Yes, it's true, children have nails, and tonight was nail trimming night around here.  It went as it always does.  Cooper says he has toenails and hand-toenails.  If I mention cutting any of his 20 toenails, he screams and cries.  He runs away.  He attempts to negotiate.  He begs and pleads.  He loses.  I win.  But my win is not an easy one.  I have to bust out wrestling moves I never knew existed.  When it's over, I say,"Now, did that hurt?"  And Cooper says,"NOPE!" and runs off happily....until the next time I try to cut his nails, that is.   

I suppose I don't HAVE to cut their nails.  I could just let them grow until they break off, but honestly....I think Child Protective Services frowns on that.  More importantly, children use long fingernails as weapons against you.  I have the scars to prove it.  They're right next to my stretchmarks.  Kids are brutal.