Welcome! And the Almost Diet.

First of all, Welcome to my blog!! You can expect lots of great stories about my kids and whatever else is going on in my life. You absolutely cannot expect a super cute page with Photoshopped pictures of my children looking like little angels because that just isn’t me. You will mainly find funny stories and stuff I personally find interesting.

Now, onto better things, like my diet, the Almost Diet! I named it myself! What is the Almost Diet? Well…. let’s start off discussing some CRAP about EVIL AND WRONG diets. Here are my top THREE reasons diets don’t work:

TOO COMPLICATED. I’m sitting here flipping through a Men’s Journal magazine, and it’s got an article titled The New Rules of Healthy Eating. They give recipes that include ingredients such as veal demi-glace and crème fraiche. So let me say it for you: W.T.F. I don’t know what any of those things are, but I can bet they cost more than a Lean Cuisine. Apparently you have to be a 5-star chef to go on a diet. Ummm NO THANKS!

TOO MUCH CHEMISTRY. My mom is on Weight Watchers, and it’s working great for her. I tried it for a while, and let me just say that I’ve never been so hungry or had such a big headache from all the counting. Foods consists of points, which involve counting the calories, protein, fiber, fat, and carbs in everything you eat….Need I say more? It ultimately results in very healthy eating but it is VERY DIFFICULT and people just aren’t down with difficult eating.

LONG TERM? I think something like Nutrisystem would work great. However, it would only work if there was no other food in my house BUT Nutrisystem food. That is obviously not going to work if you have a spouse, child, etc. Also, what’s the long-term plan there? Eat their food forever?


So, I invented my Almost Diet. Basically, it’s simply calories in, calories out. Wait, don’t run away!!!!!!!! B/c I’ve done this before, I know what works (for me). I don’t mind counting calories if I have an arsenal of food that is AFFORDABLE and EASY TO MAKE. The majority of food I eat is pretty healthy, but some is so-so. But I think that my Almost Diet is a great first step in becoming a healthy eater. I have lots more to say about my almost diet, if it doesn’t bore you all too much, but for now I leave you with a great example of a 375 calorie cheaper than holy hell dinner!

What is this delicious meal? Why it is a $1 pizza that I loaded with diced veggies of all sorts I had lying around and some Taco Bell Fire sauce b/c we all know we have packets of that liquid heaven hidden in a cabinet somewhere. Only 375 calories and doesn't taste like poo!! And as you can see, halfway healthy!!

I will be posting lots more of my favorite foods that are cheap and REALISTIC for anyone. I've lost 16 lbs in 18 days so far!!! :)